Thursday, August 23, 2007

Message from Glzak



I am Glzak, Overlord of the fourth quardrant of Bzark's 22. Your attempts at getting paid to blog have failed. Please desist in blogging on this channel. Also, you complain too much. My planet was destroyed by an anti-matter worm that escaped from the Public Zoo in the Great Central City. But you don't hear me complaining, do you? I just get on with doing my job, which consists of patrolling the comunication networks of the backwater, type D plenet known as "Earth" and searching for any information that might lead to the restoration of the mighty Zergobian Empire to its rightful position as undisputed monarch of the Lower Ganderhorn Nebula.

Your blog has proven useless in this endeavor. Please stop cultivating it.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Death to the Discount DJ




They call me the discount DJ. I got my decks at the thrift shop. I got my records at the thrift shop. I borrow my speakers from a buddy, and my hand-me-down amp is ready to cut out any day now. The gigs I get are all within a three block radius of my downtown apartment, and I carry my gear to them by hand. All the functions I've done in the past year but one, I've done for free. Today, I was spinning in the courtyard of the church down the street. There was an outdoor arts and crafts show going on, and they needed some tunes. I agreed to do it. I don't mind helping out. But now they're starting to cramp my style. "No more scratching," they told me. "Turn it down a notch," they said. Maybe they don't like my tunes. I do have somewhat eclectic tastes, but I try to bring a little something for everyone, maybe even expand people's horizons a little. I caught a few folks dancing to the classics: Steve Miller, Psychedelic Furs, Otis Redding. I stayed away from the hip-hop, the deep electro that I love. I suppose I like a lot of "bad" music. Bad music for bad people.

I'm thinking that will be my last free gig. It's just too much trouble to haul all that crap around, and for what? Nary even a free veggie burger. That's right, I had to pay for my food & coffee! I left early, and one of the vendors took the helm. She had some lounge music compilations that she popped into the CD deck. It actually sounded quite good, and people seemed more into it than when I was spinning. Or maybe it's all in my head. One thing I've learned from DJing: music always sounds better when someone else is playing it. Maybe I just need some new equipment, or maybe a whole new line of work. I guess I'm getting a little tired of spinning the same old songs as well. I like to mix things up, but acting like a human juke box doesn't leave much room for improvisation. I need to re-think my whole approach to this muzik biz.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Force Field



This photo just shows how times have changed. Back in the 70's, society considered the Star Wars fad to be some kind of highly contagious airborne virus. Kid who were "afflicted" with a love for that galaxy far, far, away were quarantined in protective bubbles in the hopes of containing the "Skywalker epidemic". These efforts, of course, proved fruitless, and now this kid's shirt would sell for $50 on eBay.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Paper Rad

It's still up and running, and every once in a while,

when I need a dose of cathode-radiation:

WOWZA!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Reality TV Bites

Yesterday I was asked to DJ on the set of a reality TV show in which they team up two strangers and give them 36 hours to "make something happen". In this case, they had to raise money to secure a new studio and equipment for a local artist centre for street youth. The team set up an open-air art studio in the courtyard of a church, and invited people to come in off the street and make some art that would later be auctioned off to help raise money for the centre.

I love spinning records in public, and when one of the team members asked if I would volunteer my time to supply some music for the event, I was happy to oblige. I do a lot of gigs for art studios and other community events, and what makes these shows interesting is that you never know what to expect; it's always a different mix of people with different musical tastes, and I try to bring music that will appeal to a wide range of folks.

This time, I knew there would be kids doing graffiti on big boards, but there were also older ladies making paintings and young women drawing with oil pastels. I brought some vintage hip-hop, some soul, top 40 stuff and eclectic alternative disks from the 80's & 90's. I set up at 3 pm, though the studio had already been running since the morning. The graffiti kids, whom I was hoping to introduce to some "grass roots", fun-loving, un-gangsta oldschool hip-hop, actually left after two songs -- not, I assured myself, because of the music, but just because they had already been there for the better part of the day and wanted to do some skateboarding.

The day was also stinking hot -- somewhere around the 35-degree mark. By four o'clock the camera and production crew started to outnumber the artists. Nobody wanted to be outside for long in that weather, but we were stuck. There was, at least, a breeze -- It was actually a fairly strong wind which threatened to overturn the tents set up over the artist's work stations. Several times, the wind actaully blew the needles of my record players out of the groove and across the records, making an unexpected and uncontrollable edit of the song. Despite these hardships, I did my best to throw down some def mixes, and I think some of my experiments went quite well. I had a cassette of the old radio show "The Shadow" that I played in between and during the breaks of some of the songs, and it added a cinematic touch to the sets.

Likely because of the heat, and the fact that the open-air studio wasn't going as well as was hoped for, the production crew was a little testy. I kept having to cut off the sound in the middle of songs so they could film segments. They didn't want the tunes going on in the background because they would have had to clear the copyright for the music to include it in the show. So, what was supposed to be a rockin' good-time outdoor art party with live DJ, actually turned into a sweaty, strained, camera shoot, with yours truly standing around for the better part of an hour, looking pretty behind the turntables with no actual sound coming out.

Once the filming was done, and all but one of the artists had left, I did play a couple hours of music, largely uninterrupted, with my audience consisting mainly of the film crew, who asked me to turn the tunes down so they could talk and take it easy. When it became clear that no more artists were going to show, they shut me down altogether. I don't know if I wasn't spinning stuff they liked to listen to, or if they were just tired from a day's labouring in excessive heat, and wanted some peace and quiet. I think if I had anticipated my audience mainly being a film crew, I would have packed a few different records; a little more rock, maybe the Anthrax, Sabbath and Metallica that I've been looking for an excuse to spin.

As I mentioned, the gig was in the courtyard of a church. At five o'clock, the bells started to chime, right in the middle of Beck's "Never Forget You" from the Guero album. It made such a perfect mix, with the chimes falling in sync to the beat a couple of times -- I couldn't have planned that if I'd tried!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Blog Haiku


I don't know what I did.
A simple click.
Now I am sad.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

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